These are the opening lines to a spoken word I wrote for an event about a month ago titled, “The Thing About Love." Initially when I was asked to write for this event, I struggled with it. In fact, I struggled with it for over a month and didn’t even write the piece until the week of the event. Who was I to speak about love? Out of all people, I felt like I was the least inclined to feel anything about love. A reoccurring phrase in the piece stated, “You tell me what I’m suppose to dream of, when I’ve experienced things such as these when it comes to this thing called love.” Having been deceived by loved, led on by love, left by loved, and having seen the death of love, I had no idea how to feel about love.
Fortunately, the winds of change blew through my life that week. And as time has gone on, Love itself has changed for me. At a point I was very cynical about love, feeling like I had given so much and still true love was out of my reach. But the quest for Love is a constant reaching, everyday. And there is a Love to be grasped; I was just reaching for the wrong one.
There is so much love in the world. For most of my life I’ve focused on one. Whether it be that one love from my father, or that one from a boyfriend, or from another boyfriend, or another boyfriend, there’s always been one. This love would define how I felt about love and what I believed about love. But when these loves would reject me or would suddenly leave me, love stopped making sense. This year, God has opened my eyes to the reality of the vastness of love. It’s not just in one person, but it’s in many people. It’s not just in one way, but it’s demonstrated in multitudes. And they’re all a little broken and they’re all imperfect, but they’re beautiful. Oh they are beautiful. And up until this year I have been blinded to the wonders of the intensity of love. I once wrote in a piece titled “Standing Still” that said, “It’s amazing to me, the things you can’t see, when your eyes are looking too hard.” This also portrays a little about what I feel about love. It’s amazing all the love we miss around us when we’re so focused on getting it from one specific place. I’m so glad I’m no longer missing it.
The spoken word I wrote for this event went through my journey with love; my optimism, my ignorance, and my cynicism. In the end, it ended with some realism. This is the reality…
“Here’s the thing about love
He’s all I need when it comes to love
And if you ask me what I feel about love
I’d say I can only still feel because of love
I am standing here only cause of love
I’m alive and well due to love
And the same God that’s given me His love
Is alive and waiting for you to love…
& I don’t know how to love
But still Somebody loves me
I don’t know how to really feel about love
But still Somebody really feels love for me….”
The love of God is different from every love we’ve ever experienced. It doesn’t hurt us, it doesn’t leave us, and it doesn’t give up on us. Instead it heals us, it runs to us, and screams to us how valuable we are. The love of God is all we need. & when we realize that, & truly know that through & through, we’ll see His love manifested through the cracks & creases of our brokenness, as well as through new, marvelous, unexpected things that are just waiting to take place in our lives. Truly, we are utterly surrounded by Love.
It’s amazing how someone can love so much, but not know a thing about love until now.
Let’s love.
We’re loved.
Truth.
ReplyDeleteThis was really beautiful.
It's funny, I remember at the beginning of the semester I said to you: "I feel like this is going to be a new year, things are going to change." You said, "I hope so."
Looks like God did work. In both of us. I'm a fan.
Love the hotel picture, and especially the polaroid.
i totally forgot about that. thank God things changed. love you nathan.
ReplyDeleteI like whatever ngm said. About change.
ReplyDelete